From Languishing to Flourishing: A practical guide.

How to build your energy, focus and fulfilment—one step at a time

Ever felt like you’re just going through the motions? You’re not burned out, but you’re definitely not thriving either. You feel a bit flat, maybe unmotivated. That’s not failure—it’s a common but overlooked state called languishing.

The good news is: there are practical ways to shift from languishing to flourishing—where you feel more engaged, connected, and alive. This guide is here to help you make that shift in both work and life, using tools from Positive Psychology, the science of wellbeing.

🌱 What is Flourishing?

To flourish means more than just “feeling good”—it’s about functioning well too. It’s having:

• Positive emotions
  
• Meaningful relationships
  
• A sense of purpose
  
• Progress toward goals
  
• Energy and engagement
  
  

Psychologist Martin Seligman’s PERMA model breaks this into five elements that support wellbeing:

• Positive Emotions
  
• Engagement
  
• Relationships
  
• Meaning
  
• Accomplishment

You don’t have to get every piece perfect—small steps in any of these areas can help you feel better and do better.

🔄 From Flat to Flourishing: Practical Things You Can Do

Here’s how you can build each of the PERMA elements in your own life—starting right where you are.

P – Positive Emotions

Make room for joy, calm and optimism by noticing what you think and feel

Positive emotions don’t just “happen”—they’re often shaped by how we think. The stories we tell ourselves, the way we interpret events, and where we focus our attention all have a powerful impact on how we feel.

🔹 The Mind–Emotion Link

Psychologists call this the thought–feeling connection. In simple terms:

The way you think affects how you feel—and how you feel affects what you do.

Let’s say you didn’t get a response after a job interview. One thought might be, “I must have blown it—maybe I’m just not good enough.” That thought creates a feeling of shame or anxiety.

But another thought could be, “It’s just one opportunity. I gave it my best, and it’s not the only one.” That thought can create a sense of calm or resilience—even if the situation hasn’t changed.

🔹 A Real-World Example

Sarah, a mid-career professional navigating redundancy, noticed she was waking up with dread. She felt stuck, even though she was actively applying for roles. Working with a coach, she began tracking her thoughts and realised she was saying to herself, “This is never going to work.”

Once she caught the pattern, she replaced that thought with a more constructive one:

“Finding the right job takes time, but I’m making progress.”

That one shift didn’t fix everything overnight—but it gave her breathing room. She started feeling a bit more hopeful, took more action, and even started enjoying her morning walks again.

How to Shape Your Thinking for More Positive Emotions

✔️ Catch Negative Self-Talk
Notice when you’re being overly harsh or critical with yourself. Would you say that to a friend? If not, rewrite it.

✔️ Name the Feeling, Then Name the Thought
Feeling flat or anxious? Pause and ask, “What was I just thinking?” Often, a sneaky thought is running the show.

✔️ Flip the Script
If your default thought is unhelpful, try one of these simple mental flips:

Unhelpful Thought	Helpful Reframe
“I’ve failed.”	“This is a setback, not the end.”
“No one wants someone like me.”	“I bring experience and insight.”
“It’s too late to change.”	“Now is a good time to try something new.”

✔️ Start a Gratitude Habit
Each night, jot down three things that went well or made you smile—even small ones. Over time, this trains your brain to notice what’s good.

✔️ Savour the Moment
Pause to enjoy something pleasant, even for 30 seconds. A warm cup of tea. A laugh with a friend. A beautiful sky. Let yourself soak it in.

✔️ Curate Your Input
What you consume shapes your mindset. Seek out content, conversations, and communities that lift you up—not drag you down.

👉 The takeaway? You can’t control every situation—but you can influence the way you think about it. And that has a powerful ripple effect on how you feel and act.

E – Engagement

Find activities that absorb and energise you.

• Notice What Energises You: Think about moments when you feel “in the zone”—what were you doing?
  
• Do More of That: Whether it’s problem-solving, building, writing, helping others, or tinkering—try to make space for these activities regularly.
  
• Limit Distraction: Try working in short focus blocks without multitasking. Your brain works better when it can focus deeply.

👉 When you’re engaged, time flows more easily—and motivation follows.

R – Relationships

Rebuild connection and support—even in small ways

• Reach Out: A quick text, phone call, or coffee with a friend can boost your mood.
  
• Show Kindness: Do something thoughtful for someone else—kindness lifts both of you.
  
• Find Your People: Join a group, reconnect with a mentor, or have regular check-ins with someone you trust.

👉 Humans are wired for connection—even small social moments help us feel better.

M – Meaning

Find purpose in what you do, and why it matters

• Reflect on What Matters to You: What gives your life purpose? It could be family, helping others, learning, or creating.
  
• Connect Tasks to Values: Even daily routines can feel more meaningful if they support something you care about.
  
• Give Back: Volunteering or mentoring others can renew your sense of purpose.

👉 Meaning doesn’t have to be huge—just knowing why something matters helps you feel more grounded.

A – Accomplishment

Set small goals and recognise your progress

• Break It Down: Set simple, achievable goals (even if it’s “go for a walk” or “send that email”).
  
• Track What You Do: At the end of the day, write down what you got done—not just what’s left to do.
  
• Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge your progress. Every step forward counts.

👉 Progress builds confidence. Start small, and build momentum.

🌟 Play to Your Strengths

We all have personal qualities that energise us—things like curiosity, empathy, persistence, or humour. You might not always think of these as “strengths”, but they’re part of what makes you you.

Ask yourself:

• What do people often thank or compliment me for?
  
• What tasks do I enjoy and feel proud of?
  
• When do I feel most like myself?

Use your answers as clues. Doing more of what comes naturally to you—your strengths—can help you feel more engaged, effective and authentic.

🧘‍♀️ Don’t Forget the Basics

You don’t need to be “positive” all the time. Flourishing includes rest, reflection, and compassion too.

• Sleep: Aim for consistent, quality rest.
  
• Movement: Even a short walk boosts energy and mood.
  
• Nutrition: What you eat impacts how you feel.
  
• Mindfulness: Take a few quiet moments each day to breathe, pause, and check in with yourself.
  
  

Start Small. Start Now.

You don’t need to overhaul your life to move out of languishing. Even one small shift—five minutes of gratitude, a call with a friend, a walk in the sun—can start to shift the dial.

This isn’t about chasing constant happiness. It’s about finding energy, meaning and hope again—and knowing that flourishing is a practice, not a destination.

Need a boost?

Career Money Life offers career and wellbeing coaching to help you reconnect with your purpose, reset your energy, and move forward—step by step.